The Virus and the Hostile
TakeoverThere are times when we
feel "on edge," and we don't know why.
We just can't put our finger on the reason we are
not being ouselves. We try. Oh, do we try. Our
analytical minds work overtime, but to no avail.
Something is stirring within us that makes us
restless. It finds us unable to be still; unable
to truly rest; unable to just sit and do nothing.
So we
run. We don't necessarily put on track shoes, and
we don't necessarily sweat. But we do make sure
that all of the minutes of our days are full. We
fight to stay busy, because when we are still, we
are scared. When we are all by ourselves we
realize that we are having a hard time
recognizing the face we see in the mirror. We
have been with this person all our lives. We
thought we knew ourselves inside and out. Now we
are doing something we can't explain. We become
scared; frightened. We are afraid that there is
someone else inside us; a hostile takeover.
What
we may not see is the fact that there might just
be a hostile takeover.
For
years now we have learned many things. We have
learned how to act in a socially acceptable
manner. We have learned facts like George
Washington was America's first president, if you
drop two objects they will fall at the same rate
and other tidbits of information. We have learned
about God. We may have even met God through the
person of Jesus Christ and learned of His ways.
In fact, we may have even prayed to God and asked
Him to make us into the person that He wants us
to be. If that's the case, then there is
"somebody inside of us" and it is a
"hostlie takeover" (albeit not so
hostile).
Why
this takeover? Why now? Well, deep within us lies
things that our eyes have not beheld. Deep within
our bodies there are cells and glands that we
have never seen. They are constantly at work, and
we never realize it. They keep us going. They
keep us active. They keep us alive. Yet we have
never seen them, and we rarely think about them.
Still they go on, doing what they do, day in and
day out.
Unfortunately
they are not the only things inside of us that we
have rarely noticed and have never seen. Deep
within each of us is a virus. It is a virus more
terrifying than cancer; more deadly than AIDS. It
eats away at our very core. This virus is
called...selfishness.
Selfishness,
just like the glands and cells, is always at
work- always moving. It threads itself into our
everyday actions. It even threads itself into our
good deeds; the things we do from a "good
heart." Selfishness is not only the reason
for every sin we commit, but it is also the
motivation behind most of our righteousness. It
plays such an enormously integral part in our
lives and yet rarely gets the credit.
It
could be that our uneasiness is nothing more than
a loving God fighting the virus of selfishness
that has caused us, and Him, years of illness.
Not unlike the penicillin that eats away at the
bacteria and germs of the flu (far out of sight
from our eyes and from our understanding), our
God wages a war deep within us to weed out this
virus called selfishness.
Unfortunately,
just as we are sometimes bedridden when we are
taking penicillin and having it fight our
battles, this war being fought over selfishness
and pride can also leave us weary and almost
unusable for a time.
Fortunately,
though, healing is not far away. Our best advice
can come from the actions of Jacob. When Jacob
was wrestling with the angel, at first he did not
know who or what had started beating the living
dookie out of him. But then he turned the tables
on his trial. Out of nowhere, Jacob took control,
and instead of breaking free, he said, "I'm
not letting go until you bless me." We can
take a cue from Jacob and take a totally
different view of our problem. We can grab our
problem and say, "Hey, I don't want to be
free until I learn all I'm supposed to learn from
this." Our trial may or may not be over any
faster, but it will surely be easier to endure
with an attitude like Jacob's.
And as
God work's inside of us in His mysterious ways,
we may start to realize that we are at our wisest
point when we realize that we know nothing; and
we are at our most selfless point when we realize
just how selfish we actually are.
copyright 1992 Dale
Suffridge
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