...but what if it hurts? When writing the poem Crippled Man, I could easily see the necessity of a broken heart. For some reason, at that moment, I understood its value. Years later now, with my humanness seeping through, I find myself questioning what once was a clear truth- what still is a great truth. Oswald Chambers wrote in My Utmost For His Highest, "Why shouldn't we go through heartbreaks? If through a broken heart God can bring His purpose to pass in this world, then thank Him for breaking your heart." Yet why now do I have these doubts? I sit thinking about this question only to wonder if these same types of doubts escaped such great writers as Mr. Chambers or even King David (of for that matter, any great writer of the Bible). After penning something, that at the time, they were sure was a truth, did they later doubt that same truth? I'm almost sure they must have. They were human. They must have doubted. I guess all I can be sure of is that today, at the moment I write this, I do not have the same fondness of a broken heart that I had at the time I wrote Crippled Man. It seems to be a miraculous moment when a pain-rejecting human being actually accepts with gratitude the immense pain of a broken heart. It is if only God can bring on this acceptance with the aid of His Holy Spirit, instilling the necessary assurance and acceptance into the heart of a doubting, hurting and selfish human being. And yet later, if that same Spirit is neglected, doubts are sure to enter. Mark Heard, one of our generations greatest songwriters, sang, "One day's miracle is another day's rut." I now understand how this can be.
After completing this I found another truth penned by Mr. Chambers that applies to my prayer. He wrote, "God will never reveal more truth about Himself until you have obeyed what you know already." I guess this is what I need to learn first and foremost.
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