As I sit alone in my room
I feel it
the desire that drives me
the desire that keeps me alive

it frustrates
it confuses
it punishes
it rewards

it drains me of my strength
my pride
my answers

it causes my teeth to grind
my fists to clinch
my tears to flow

it wounds me and brings healing
it breaks me and mends
it empties me and refills

it is the desire that keeps me alive
it is the desire that kills me

the desire to think,
question
and wonder

to think
of questions yet to be asked
to question
the wonder of thinking
and to wonder
where would I be without this desire


copyright 1992 Dale Suffridge